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  • Writer's pictureSchwartzen "Shway" Precil

Are boys allowed to cry?

Updated: Nov 5, 2020

It was only a few days ago where the boy limped away from a bad fall he took. The kid was tough and refused to cry. It was only when the boy's father came in and said "did you cry?" did the boy finally shed a tear.

A regular day at the Boys and Girls Club turned into a triggering moment that enabled me to look at the boy inside myself.

A 7-year-old boy had hit his knee against the wall and screamed at the pain it caused him. I applied first aid and watched the boy settled down as he refused to cry even though he was in pain.

He was 7-years-old. Aren't they supposed to cry at that age? I thought to myself

Giving it no second thought, I held the boy's hand as he limped off away from his friends as they gave him a round of applause. His parents were notified immediately.

What would cause this boy not to cry?

I asked if he's okay with me helping him grab his possessions. He accepts all my help until the boys sees his father walk through the front door.

His father with a smirk across his face. "Awwh, what happened little man? You hurt ya little knee?" His sarcastic voice quickly turns serious. "Man toughen up, go grab ya things and get in the car. I bet he cried didn't he?" He asks as his son limps to stand near him.

"Actually, I was surprised he..." I began to speak until I looked at the boy's face finally shed a tear following his father's words. A single tear rolled down his cheek as he wiped it off his face as fast as he could. My eyes shifted from the boy and turned to the father who looked down at his son shaking his head because he 'ain't raising no sissy.'

Triggering words

That moment hit me like Mike Tyson in a boxing match. KNOCK OUT! The boy refused to cry when he hurt himself not because of his friends were watching but the words of his father danced through his young mind.

The father's suppressing words hindered the boys emotions. He was not free to express his own pain through his tears (#BeYourOwnHero #Chapter3UpsideDownWorldView).

It hit too close to home for me as I was reminded of my own upbringing of suppressing tears that I built up for years.

The boy limped off in pain and fought through it rather than be criticized by his father's words of being called a "sissy."

A small reminder...

“Your emotions are yours. You can embrace them without letting them define you” -Schwartzen Precil

Some argued those type of fathers are better off not being in their children's lives. They do more harm than good. It stunts the child's development and growth. I disagreed.

There will come a time when the boy will one day transition from boyhood to manhood.

It's not a matter of if, but when.

When it comes to it, the boy will have a choice. A choice to break the cycle of "man up" when boyhood is officially over or break the curse that he was unaware of at 7-years-old.

Many people are still suffering from the words that were spoken over them in childhood.

It's time to break the cycle.

Social Media:

Instagram: @schwartzen_828 Twitter: @schwartzen_828 Facebook: Hero Leadership Group

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